9 years and still going strong! Here are some of my tips for keepin a happy, healthy marriage..

Hey Y’all!

Happy Anniversary to my handsome cowboy! 9 years of marriage and I am still madly in love…it’s an amazing feeling!! I am so blessed to be married to my best friend! I love you hottie!!!

Us 10 years ago at universal studios

Sadly most marriages these days don’t make it. Although statistics vary about how many marriages end in divorce it’s approximately 40-50%. That’s a lot. It’s a very sad thing to stop and think about that nearly half of families are separated due to divorce.

Cowboy and I were both lucky to come from homes with our parents still together and we are even more lucky to come from a home where our parents were truly in love. Unfortunately however we have both been divorced as a result of marriages that neither one of us should have ever even considered in the first place. Maybe as a result of having such experiences in the failed marriages and the divorce process we were much more equipt for the marriage that came next. I am in love with my cowboy and happy to say I’m more in love with him everyday.

9 years of marriage takes work…heck any amount of time committed to someone day in and day out takes work. Over the years as with any relationship we’ve had highs and lows but the highs far out weigh the lows and the lows have taught us to rely on each other. Below are some tips we have to keep the passion, keep the relationship stronger, and keeping each other priority.

  • Daily meaningful kissing: for obvious reasons this is important. But let me ask you this…when is the last time you and your spouse shared a meaningful kiss? You likely kiss at the customary times- goodnight, goodbye, and such. But what about just because, what about for no reason, or just to say I’m thinking of you. I love to kiss my man! I know it makes him happy! We do kiss at the customary times but we frequently kiss just because. It brings us together at different times for a brief moment of intimacy, to reassure each other that no matter what is going on you are needed and loved. A kiss can say so much- at times more than words. So kiss your sweetie today and not just a peck but a meaningful passionate kiss and hey did you know that in a 1 minute kiss you burn approximately 26 calories?!?
  • Holding hands : it’s not just for dating. I love driving down the road holding hands with my hubby or walking hand and hand in the store. That physical touch is so connecting. Like the kiss it shows that unspoken love. We sit on the couch holding hands, lay in the bed holding hands, we pretty much are always hand in hand. Maybe it sounds silly but I can feel the love when he’s holding my hand, I feel safe and secure, I feel wonderful and happy. It’s amazing what physical touch can do for  two people in love so grab your sweeties hand and get to holding’!
  • Dating: remember how much fun it was in those dating days? Don’t you love to see the smile on your spouse’s face when you are having fun together? With kids, work, and other obligations I know sometimes it’s hard to find the time or money. One of the few times I worked outside of our home we insisted on no- weekly dates. We had a wonderful babysitter whom the kids still love to this day which is a big deal because Lily dislikes everyone except for her daddy and sometimes the rest of the family is OK too. We had a routine and went to our favorite restaurant and then bowling. We tried to avoid talking about work or the kids although sometimes the conversation came up briefly. These days we don’t go out frequently (just when my parents are in town to babysit) but we have at home dates. We make dinner together and eat on the porch or watch a movie on the couch with popcorn and movie theater treats. The kids get to eat pizza in their room and watch a movie. Typically it works out well but every once in a while it becomes a family date. Whatever it is you do just take some time out to spend alone with your spouse engaging in activity you enjoy together.
  • Go to bed together and early: OK so going to bed early means different things to different people. I won’t admit to you how early we go to bed but it’s crazy early and we get up early too. Anyhow if your to exhausted from the day when you hit the pillow or go to bed at separate times you don’t have that time to spend together before falling asleep. We lay in bed and talk or watch TV while snuggling. It’s important to have that alone time each night before bed.
  • Tokens of affection: I’ve been slacking on this lately but I know cowboy loves when I leave him a little token of affection. Since our relationship began we were big on letter writing. Sometimes handwritten but nowadays mostly electronic. A note at an unexpected time can totally impact ones day. I leave cowboy notes in his car, packed lunch, wallet, or the calendar on his phone. Sometimes I’ll pick up his favorite treat or drink, cook his favorite meal, or with the help of the kids have a surprise appreciation party. It’s different for everyone but do a little something for no reason to show your love you are thinking of them.
  • Talk: we talk a lot. It’s sometime just meaningless chit chat but we often talk about our hopes, dreams, insecurities, or faith. There isn’t anything we can’t share with each other and it’s so nice to know that you have a listening supportive ear always there.

    Love is amazing! Being in love is good for your health. Sharing your life- both the good and bad with someone special is good . 

    Sharing my life with Troy has truly been the best thing that has ever happened to me and has given me the best things in life- our kids! Happy Anniversary to my handsome cowboy, my best friend, and soulmate! I love you more than words will ever be able to express! I’m grateful you have chosen me for your wife! I love you!

    (Our anniversary is actually tomorrow)

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